'Hotel Influenza' Will Pay You $3500 to Come Get the Flu

iStock
iStock

Miami Beach. The Caribbean. Cabo. All of these vacation spots may sound appealing, but they can cost thousands. Why not plan a getaway where your hotel not only pays your travel expenses but also gives you a little extra just for coming?

Thanks to St. Louis University’s Center for Vaccine Development, now you can. The only catch? You’ll be purposely exposed to influenza. And most sightseeing is out, since you’ll be quarantined.

As Forbes reports, the university just announced that it has converted part of its on-campus hotel into a research hub for flu. “Guests” of “Hotel Influenza” will be paid volunteers in a human challenge study that aims to evaluate the efficacy of vaccines. Rather than follow subjects in the real world who may or may not contract the virus, the center will make sure of it, exposing occupants to germs and then evaluating their response. Researchers are offering $3500 to cover each volunteer's travel expenses, leaving the rest as compensation for marinating in their own snot.

That exposure doesn’t necessarily guarantee they’ll experience flu symptoms. If a guest happens to have been treated with a working vaccine rather than a placebo, they might not get sick, and can pass away the time in the center’s modest quarters, which include catered meals and a common room with a television. If they do fall ill, 24-hour medical care will keep their discomfort to a minimum. Owing to the risk of transmission, they won’t be allowed to leave until they stop shedding the virus. The typical duration of stay is about 10 days.

The center is hoping this kind of targeted research will help improve seasonal flu vaccines with a long-term goal of developing a universal vaccination that can cover multiple strains of flu. Organizers expect a pilot study will be up and running within the next six months.

There will only be 24 slots available, so be sure to book early.

[h/t Forbes]

Get Paid to Write Dirty Jokes for Cards Against Humanity

tom_bullock, Wikimedia Commons // CC BY 2.0

If you've exhausted every possible joke combination in Cards Against Humanity, the makers of the game have a new outlet for your wit. Apply to be a contributing writer and you could get paid to write the gross, bizarre, and occasionally offensive cards that go into new editions of the game.

For the uninitiated, here's how Cards Against Humanity works: A player draws a black card, which has a sentence with a section missing from it, and puts it down for the group to see. The rest of the players then put down white cards with words or phrases that could potentially fill in the blank. The player who comes up with the best joke wins the round.

In order for the jokes to be funny, the cards themselves need to be well written. That's where the contributing writers come in. As the job posting explains, the new writers will make $40 an hour "writing poop jokes as needed." The position is remote and part-time.

To see if you're a good fit for the gig, Cards Against Humanity is asking that you submit ideas for 15 white cards and five black cards that best exhibit your humor and writing skills. They've even included a handy primer on "how to write cards that don't blow" for applicants who are unsure of where to start. "A good black card allows players to subvert an expected tone or logic," the guidelines explain, while white cards should have "distinct voice, perspective, or syntax." The page also includes general guidelines on structure and the Cards Against Humanity style.

To apply, submit your ideas through the website before August 31. And if you're looking for some offbeat inspiration, this 19th-century version of the game should kickstart your creativity.

Animal Sanctuary on the Greek Island of Syros Wants to Pay You to Take Care of 55 Cats

iStock
iStock

Before you can fully commit to becoming a cat person, you need the space and the money to support your feline family. Thankfully, a cat sanctuary in Greece is willing to offer you all of the above. As TIME reports, God's Little People Cat Rescue wants to pay you to move to the island of Syros and look after all 55 of its cats.

According to the listing posted to the shelter's Facebook page, the job comes with an undisclosed salary; a small, semidetached house with fully covered utilities; and a private garden with views of the Aegean Sea. You will be responsible for feeding the cats, giving them their medicine, and handling all the general duties that come with running a cat sanctuary. The ideal candidate has some veterinary training, is 45 or older, and can drive the cats to the vet in a manual-transmission car if necessary. The job also requires you to handle feral and/or non-sociable cats at times, so it's best if you have some "cat-whispering skills."

The posting reads, "We are located in a secluded nature preserved area which is very tranquil and quiet in winter time but busy during the summer. You’ll no doubt thrive best if you are the type of person who appreciates nature and likes tranquility—and rest[s] comfortably in your own company. That said, you’ll never feel lonely in the company of the cats and you’ll be expected to live with a small handful of cats in your house."

After a volunteer period of a few weeks, you will be working about four hours a day for a minimum of six months beginning November 1, 2018. To apply, send your photo and resume to joanbowell@yahoo.com. There are plenty of cat photos from the sanctuary to peruse online as you wait for a response.

[h/t TIME]

SECTIONS

arrow
LIVE SMARTER
More from mental floss studios