You Could Own This Historic English Mansion for Less Than $20

Courtesy of James Congdon
Courtesy of James Congdon

Have you always wanted to live in a sprawling English estate? This could be your lucky day.

The owners of Dancers Hill House have launched a contest to win this luxury mansion, which was built circa 1760 and has four acres of grounds including a lake stocked with fish. There's an entry fee of £13.50 (less than $17), but considering the property is worth close to $7 million, it's a pretty good deal. You can also enter more than once if you want to up your odds.

It gets better: According to a press release, the North London house was the "backdrop" of Masterpiece's 1999 adaptation of Charles Dickens's Great Expectations, which starred Ioan Gruffudd, Charlotte Rampling, and Justine Waddell.

Dancers Hill House
Courtesy of James Congdon

The estate has a rich history. Around 1500, the land originally housed a manor that Elizabeth I is rumored to have stayed in. The current structure was built around 1760 as a folly: a grand decorative structure that rich people in the 18th century liked to build on their land just for fun. It was eventually extended several times and transformed into a habitable home in the 19th century. During WWII, it was used as a camp for Italian prisoners of war.

The secluded, 7500-square-foot mansion has since been renovated to include six bedrooms and six bathrooms, along with amenities like a movie theater, gym, wine room, and a conservatory. It's been a family home for the last 30 years, but after watching their kids grow up and leave the nest, the owners are ready to move on. It's the perfect abode for anyone with a brooding Dickensian soul.

You have until December 16, 2018 to enter. And if you win, you owe it to yourself—and Dickens—to rename it Satis House.

Get Paid to Write Dirty Jokes for Cards Against Humanity

tom_bullock, Wikimedia Commons // CC BY 2.0

If you've exhausted every possible joke combination in Cards Against Humanity, the makers of the game have a new outlet for your wit. Apply to be a contributing writer and you could get paid to write the gross, bizarre, and occasionally offensive cards that go into new editions of the game.

For the uninitiated, here's how Cards Against Humanity works: A player draws a black card, which has a sentence with a section missing from it, and puts it down for the group to see. The rest of the players then put down white cards with words or phrases that could potentially fill in the blank. The player who comes up with the best joke wins the round.

In order for the jokes to be funny, the cards themselves need to be well written. That's where the contributing writers come in. As the job posting explains, the new writers will make $40 an hour "writing poop jokes as needed." The position is remote and part-time.

To see if you're a good fit for the gig, Cards Against Humanity is asking that you submit ideas for 15 white cards and five black cards that best exhibit your humor and writing skills. They've even included a handy primer on "how to write cards that don't blow" for applicants who are unsure of where to start. "A good black card allows players to subvert an expected tone or logic," the guidelines explain, while white cards should have "distinct voice, perspective, or syntax." The page also includes general guidelines on structure and the Cards Against Humanity style.

To apply, submit your ideas through the website before August 31. And if you're looking for some offbeat inspiration, this 19th-century version of the game should kickstart your creativity.

Nearly $100,000 in Instant Ramen Was Stolen in Georgia Noodle Heist

iStock
iStock

It's not easy to steal a small fortune when your target is instant ramen, but a team of thieves in Georgia managed to do just that a few weeks back. As The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports, the criminals made off with a trailer containing nearly $100,000 worth of noodles, and the local police force is still working to track down the perpetrators.

The heist occurred outside a Chevron gas station in Fayetteville, Georgia some time between July 25 and August 1, 2018. The 53-foot trailer parked in the area contained a large shipment of ramen, which the truck's driver estimates was worth about $98,000. Depending on the brand, that means the convenience food bandits stole anywhere between 200,000 and 500,000 noodle packs.

Some outlets have connected the truck-jacking to a recent string of vehicle-related robberies, but the Fayette County Sheriff's Office told the AJC such reports are inaccurate. Any potential suspects in the case have yet to be revealed.

The outlaws join the list of thieves who have stolen food items in bulk. Some of the most ambitious food heists in the past have centered on 11,000 pounds of Nutella, $75,000 worth of soup, and 6000 cheesecakes.

[h/t The Atlanta Journal-Constitution]

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