20 Attempts to Describe the Taste of Durian, the World’s Smelliest Fruit

iStock.com/Worradirek
iStock.com/Worradirek

The durian is a beloved delicacy in Malaysia, Singapore, and other parts of Southeast Asia. Its taste and smell, however, take some getting used to. The creamy fruit is notoriously potent—in fact, it’s so smelly that Singapore’s public transit systems tell passengers not to bring them onto subways or buses. And yet, despite its stinky reputation, it can be found practically everywhere: In curries, cakes, and even ice cream. For visitors, biting into the fruit can be an utterly confusing and contradictory experience. Here are some outsider opinions from the past 400 years.

1. “The flesh is as white as snow, exceeds in delicacy of taste of all our best European fruits, and none of ours can approach it.” —Jacques de Bourges, 17th Century Missionary

2. “Comparisons have been made with the civet cat, sewage, stale vomit, onions, and cheese; while one disaffected visitor to Indonesia declared that the eating of the flesh was not much different from having to consume used surgical swabs.” —The Oxford Companion to Food

3. “Tastes lightly sweet and deeply musky.” —Frommer’s Guide to Malaysia

4. “[I]ts odor is best described as pig-sh*t, turpentine and onions, garnished with a gym sock. It can be smelled from yards away.” —Richard Sterling, food writer

5. "To eat it seems to be the sacrifice of self-respect.” —Bayard Taylor, 19th-century Journalist

6. “To anyone who doesn’t like durian it smells like a bunch of dead cats. But as you get to appreciate durian, the smell is not offensive at all. It’s attractive. It makes you drool like a mastiff.” —Bob Halliday, Bangkok-based food writer

7. “Vomit-flavoured custard.” —The Rough Guide to Malaysia, Singapore & Brunei

8. “The smell of rotten eggs is so overwhelming. I suppress a gag reaction as I take a bite.” —Robb Walsh, food writer

9. “Like all the good things in Nature … durian is indescribable. It is meat and drink and an unrivalled delicacy besides, and you may gorge to repletion and never have cause for penitence. It is the one case where Nature has tried her hand at the culinary art and beaten all the CORDON BLEUE out of heaven and earth.” —a "good friend" of Edmund J. Banfield, Australian Naturalist, as quoted in Banfield's 1911 book My Tropic Isle

10. “[Has a] sewer-gas overtone.” —Maxine E. McBrinn, Anthropologist

11. “Like pungent, runny French cheese … Your breath will smell as if you’d been French kissing your dead grandmother.” —Anthony Bourdain, Chef and Host of Parts Unknown

12. “On first tasting it, I thought it like the flesh of some animal in a state of putrefaction, but after four or five trials I found the aroma exquisite.” —Henri Mouhot, French Naturalist, in Travels in the Central Parts of Indo-China: Siam, Cambodia, and Laos, During the Years 1858, 1859, and 1860

13. “[Like] eating ice cream in an outhouse.” —As reported in Jerry Hopkins's Strange Foods

14. “I must say that I have never tasted anything more delicious. But not everyone can enjoy or appreciate this strange fruit for the disgusting smell that distinguishes it and that is apt to cause nausea to a weak stomach. Imagine to have under your nose a heap of rotten onion and you will still have but a faint idea of the insupportable odour which emanates from these trees and when its fruit is opened the offensive smell becomes even stronger.” —Giovanni Battista Cerruti, Italian Explorer, in 1908's My Friends the Savages

15. “It tastes like completely rotten mushy onions.” —Andrew Zimmern, Host of Bizarre Foods

16. “Like eating raspberry blancmange in the lavatory.” —Anthony Burgess, Novelist

17. “A rich custard highly flavored with almonds gives the best general idea of it, but there are occasional wafts of flavor that call to mind cream-cheese, onion-sauce, sherry-wine, and other incongruous dishes." —Alfred Russel Wallace, 19th-century British Naturalist

18. “You will either be overcome, seduced by its powerful, declarative presence, or reject it outright. And run screaming." —Monica Tan, The Guardian Journalist

19. “Carrion in custard.” —A “Governor of the Straits” quoted in 1903's Hobson-Jobson: A glossary of colloquial Anglo-Indian words and phrases, and of kindred terms, etymological, historical, geographical and discursive

20. “Yes, I freely admit that when ripe it can smell like a dead animal. Yes, the fruit is difficult to handle, bearing likeness to a medieval weapon. But get down to the pale yellow, creamy flesh, and you’ll experience overtones of hazelnut, apricot, caramelized banana and egg custard. That’s my attempt at describing durian. But words fail; there is no other fruit like it.” —Thomas Fuller, New York Times Journalist

Costco Is Selling Enormous Tubs of Your Favorite Gluttonous Delights—Here Are 5 of Them

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iStock.com/mphillips007

Costco's grocery department is perhaps the only place in America where you can get a $5 rotisserie chicken, a $1.50 hot dog and soda combo, and 7-pound bucket of Nutella all under one roof. The tub of hazelnut spread isn't the only food you can buy in bulk, either. Whether you're catering a wedding on a budget or restocking your doomsday shelter, here are five foods you can buy online—and in some stores—that come in outrageous portions.

1. A nearly 7-pound tub of Nutella

Sometimes, a small jar of Nutella just won't do. For those who can't get enough of the chocolatey hazelnut spread, Costco offers a bigger size—to the tune of 6.6 pounds. It costs $22, which is about $14 cheaper than splurging on 14 smaller jars weighing 7.7 ounces apiece. As Thrillist points out, in-store deals are only available to Costco members, but anyone can take advantage of discounts when they order online.

2. 23 pounds of macaroni & cheese

If bathing in macaroni and cheese is on your bucket list, now's your chance. Costco offers a $90 tub filled with 23 pounds of elbow macaroni and cheddar sauce mix, all of which comes in a "heavy duty" 6-gallon bucket. With enough food to serve 180 people, it's designed to last up to 20 years "if stored in a dry, cool environment"—so yes, it's bunker-approved. (Although, sadly, it's currently out of stock.)

3. A lifetime supply of honey

Given the uncertain future of honeybees (and by extension, honey), it might not be a bad idea to stock up on the sweet, sticky stuff. Costco's 40-pound tub of GloryBee Clover Blossom Honey costs $127. Considering that a 48-ounce jar of honey costs $27 on GloryBee's website, this represents savings of more than $200.

4. Emergency rations of mashed potatoes

This bucket of food is explicitly designed for surviving rather than feasting, but who's to say that a sudden craving for mashed potatoes or mac and cheese isn't an emergency? Costco's Emergency Food kit contains a one-month supply of various foods, including oatmeal, cheddar cheese grits with green chilies, chicken-flavored vegetable stew, and a rice and orzo pilaf. It will set you back $115, but again, it has a shelf life of 20 years.

5. 60 servings of freeze-dried breakfast skillet

Mountain House's breakfast skillet comes in six coffee-sized cans rather than one oversized bucket, but it still serves the same purpose. For $160, you get 60 servings of scrambled eggs mixed with hash browns, pork sausage, peppers, and onions. Just be sure to add the right amount of water, unless you like your eggs runny.

Want More Pizza in Your Life? Order One 18-Inch Pie Instead of Two 12-Inch Pies

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iStock.com/smpics

When ordering pizza for guests (or when throwing yourself a personal pizza party), it can be tempting to spring for two medium pies over one large one. It may end up being more expensive, but it also feels like the logical choice: Two 12-inch pies should give you more cheesy goodness per square inch than an 18-inch pie, right?

That may be what pizzerias want you to think, but as Fermat's Library recently illustrated on Twitter, it's not the case. One large, 18-inch pie boasts a full 28 more square inches of pizza than two small 12-inch pies, making the larger pie by far the better deal.

Even though the diameter of the large pizza is smaller than the combined diameters of the two medium pies, it still has a larger total area. To get the area of the circle, you have to square the radius (which is half of the diameter) and multiply that by pi (about 3.14). This means the area of an 18-inch pizza is 254 square inches, while the combined area of two 12-inch pies is only 226 inches.

The geometry required to calculate your pizza order isn't too complicated, but the tweet was apparently eye-opening enough to garner a viral response. Some people were thankful for the math tip, while others had trouble wrapping their heads around it. Mathematician Tamás Görbe pointed out that while an 18-inch pie technically gives you more food, two 12-inches pies give you 33.3 percent more crust—something to keep in mind if that's your favorite part.

In case you're looking for another excuse to order pizza, January 13 marked the start of National Pizza Week. Here are some facts about the beloved dish to celebrate the occasion.

[h/t Mashable]

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