'The 179 Days of Christmas' Is a 9-Hour-Long Holiday Song That's Designed to Be Hated

Joren Cull, YouTube
Joren Cull, YouTube

Officially, the longest song ever released is "The Rise and Fall of Bassanova," a 13-plus-hour electronic epic that came out in 2016. Yet somehow, a new song released for Christmas 2018 feels so much longer that that. "The 179 Days of Christmas," introduced to us by The A.V. Club, is almost nine hours of nonstop, terrible lyrics bopping along to a cartoony woodblock beat.

We can't recommend the song, per se, but we certainly appreciate its dedication to the concept. Created by illustrator Joren Cull and musician AJ Ing, it's a play on "The Twelve Days of Christmas" that considers what else someone could receive for the holidays—with a sense of humor straight out of South Park.

Accompanied by cute animations from Cull, the lyrics are a hodgepodge of odd, random, and occasionally super-dark concepts to dwell on. The list begins with things that conceivably could be OK to receive as gifts—say "14 singing Furbies"—and then it gets weirder. Suddenly, you're up to "35 dreams that crumbled," "66 dancing earthworms," "70 unpaid interns," and "94 allergic reactions." To get a sense of the writers' sensibilities, you need only know that the entry for the number 69 is simply a cackle of laughter.

Last year, the Port of Vancouver—as in, the transportation authority for Canada's largest port—hired a choir to sing a three-and-a-half-hour-long song about the 6000-odd items that passed through its control in 2017, labeling it the world's longest holiday song. This video takes the concept to a whole other level.

All of this is to say that if you really want to play a prank on your family this holiday season, stick this tune on your Christmas party playlist. We bet—really, hope—you won't be able to sit through the whole thing. Listen below if you dare.

[h/t The A.V. Club]

A Full Pink Moon Is Coming in April

Ana Luisa Santo, Flickr // CC BY-ND 2.0
Ana Luisa Santo, Flickr // CC BY-ND 2.0

Mark your calendars for Friday, April 19 and get ready to snap some blurry pictures of the sky on your way to work. A full pink moon will appear early that morning, according to a calendar published by The Old Farmer's Almanac.

Considering that the full moon cycle is completed every 29.5 days, the April full moon will be the fourth full moon of 2019. Despite its name, the surface of the moon doesn't actually appear rosy. The name refers to the wild ground phlox, a type of pink wildflower, that tends to sprout in the U.S. and Canada around this time of year. It's also sometimes called an egg moon, fish moon, or sprouting grass moon.

What does the Full Pink Moon mean?

The April full moon might be a bit of a misnomer, but it still plays a pretty important role in the Christian tradition. The date on which the full pink moon appears has historically been used to determine when Easter will be observed. The holiday always falls on the Sunday following the first full moon that appears after the spring equinox. However, if the full moon falls on a Sunday, Easter will be held the following Sunday.

This rule dates back to 325 C.E., when a group of Christian churches called the First Council of Nicaea decided that the light of the full moon would help guide religious pilgrims as they traveled ahead of the holiday. Since the full moon will be visible on April 19 this year, Easter will be held on April 21.

When to see the full pink moon

The best time to view this April full moon is around 4:12 a.m. on the West Coast and 7:12 a.m. on the East Coast. The exact time will vary depending on your location. For a more specific estimate, head to the Almanac's website and type in your city and state or ZIP code.

If you happen to miss this spectacle because you're enjoying a full night’s sleep, don't fret too much. A full flower moon will be arriving in May.

Why Are There No Snakes in Ireland?

iStock
iStock

Legend tells of St. Patrick using the power of his faith to drive all of Ireland’s snakes into the sea. It’s an impressive image, but there’s no way it could have happened.

There never were any snakes in Ireland, partly for the same reason that there are no snakes in Hawaii, Iceland, New Zealand, Greenland, or Antarctica: the Emerald Isle is, well, an island.

Eightofnine via Wikimedia Commons // Public Domain

Once upon a time, Ireland was connected to a larger landmass. But that time was an ice age that kept the land far too chilly for cold-blooded reptiles. As the ice age ended around 10,000 years ago, glaciers melted, pouring even more cold water into the now-impassable expanse between Ireland and its neighbors.

Other animals, like wild boars, lynx, and brown bears, managed to make it across—as did a single reptile: the common lizard. Snakes, however, missed their chance.

The country’s serpent-free reputation has, somewhat perversely, turned snake ownership into a status symbol. There have been numerous reports of large pet snakes escaping or being released. As of yet, no species has managed to take hold in the wild—a small miracle in itself.

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