18 Timeless Will Rogers Quotes

Hulton Archive/Getty Images
Hulton Archive/Getty Images

William Penn Adair Rogers ranks among the finest performers, comedians, and social commentators in American history. So today, let’s all find an excuse to recite some of his best remarks.

1. ON HUMOR

“Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.”

2. ON LEARNING

“Why don’t they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years we will have the smartest people on earth.”

3. ON POLITICS

"I was born on November 4, which is election day ... my birthday has made more men and sent more back to honest work than any other days in the year."

4. ON SPELLING

“When I first started out to write and misspelled a few words, people said I was plain ignorant. But when I got all the words wrong, they declared I was a humorist.”

5. ON SHAME

“Live in such a way that you wouldn’t be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.”

6. ON VETERINARIANS

“Best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can’t ask his patients what’s the matter. He’s just got to know.”

7. ON BEING HUMAN

“It’s great to be great, but it’s greater to be human.”

8. ON EINSTEIN

"This Einstein has proven a great comfort to us that always knew we didn’t know much. He has shown us that the fellows that we thought was smart is just as dumb as we are."

9. ON RIGHTING WRONGS

“There is nothing as easy as denouncing ... It don’t take much to see that something is wrong but it does take some eyesight to see what will put it right again.”

10. ON FANATICS

“A fanatic is always the fellow that is on the opposite side.”

11. ON AGE

"Eventually you reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it."

12. ON COMEDIANS VERSUS POLITICIANS

"Everything is changing in America. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke."

13. ON THE STATE OF THE WORLD

“This would be a great world to dance in if we didn’t have to pay the fiddler.”

14. ON LAUGHTER

“[Get] a few laughs and do the best you can… Live your life so that whenever you lose, you’re ahead.”

15. ON QUESTION MARKS

"I was born on election day but never was able to get elected to anything. I am going to jump out some day and be indefinite enough about everything that they will call me a politician, then run on a platform of question marks, and be elected unanimously."

16. ON TAXES

"Finding things to tax is becoming quite a problem. You see when taxes first started (who started 'em anyhow?), Noah must have taken into the ark two taxes, one male and one female, and did they multiply bountifully! Next to guinea pigs, taxes must have been the most prolific of animals."

17. ON UNIVERSAL IGNORANCE

"Everybody is ignorant only on different subjects."

18. ON DESIRE

"We don’t know what we want, but we’re ready to bite somebody to get it."

BONUS: ONE THING WILL ROGERS DIDN'T SAY

“I never met a man I didn’t like.”

Ironically, for somebody who came up with so much Grade A material, most people associate Rogers with a long-lived misquote. In actuality, the full, unaltered line was: “I joked about every prominent man in my lifetime, but I never met one I didn’t like.” A few years before his death in 1935, Rogers proposed it as an epitaph for his tombstone. However, the shortened version does appear chiseled upon his final resting place in Claremore, Oklahoma.  

Breaking Bad Movie's Title, Release Date, and Plot Details Revealed

Frank Ockenfels, AMC
Frank Ockenfels, AMC

While Better Call Saul has been a wonderful way to stave off Breaking Bad withdrawals, fans have been waiting months to get more details on the Breaking Bad movie that was announced earlier this year. And it has finally arrived. Netflix has just announced that the movie, titled El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie, will drop on October 11, 2019.

According to the official synopsis, the film will "reunite" fans with Aaron Paul's Jesse Pinkman following the events of the series' highly acclaimed finale:

"In the wake of his dramatic escape from captivity, Jesse must come to terms with his past in order to forge some kind of future. This gripping thriller is written and directed by Vince Gilligan, the creator of Breaking Bad."

According to Variety, "It is unclear whether Bryan Cranston, who played main character Walter White in the series, will appear in the film. Cranston has previously confirmed that the film was happening but would not say whether or not he would be involved."

While Cranston's involvement may be unknown, based on the newly released trailer, it's clear that Charles Baker will be reprising his role as Skinny Pete. (We can only hope that this means Badger will be along for the ride, too.)

Though Breaking Bad aired on AMC, partnering with Netflix makes sense for the film, as the streaming network owns the rights to the series (which remains a popular binge-watch). And Breaking Bad creator Vince Gilligan has credited Netflix with being a key reason for the show’s ultimate ratings success.

While accepting the show’s first Emmy Award for Outstanding Drama Series in 2013 (it won again the following year), Gilligan took a moment to acknowledge the integral role Netflix played in helping Breaking Bad find its audience.

“I think Netflix kept us on the air,” Gilligan said. “Not only are we standing up here, I don’t think our show would have even lasted beyond season 2 … It’s a new era in television, and we’ve been very fortunate to reap the benefits.”

This Damn Fine Twin Peaks Box Set Is the Only One Fans Will Ever Need

Amazon
Amazon

Fans of David Lynch’s three-season drama Twin Peaks know there’s quite a lot to excavate. The series, which ran from 1990 to 1991 on ABC and returned for a one-season engagement on Showtime in 2017, has been a perpetual source of ambiguity, red herrings, and the downright inexplicable.

Now there’s a centralized hub of all things Peaks to dwell on. Twin Peaks: From Z to A is a Blu-ray box set containing all episodes of the original series; 1992’s feature film, Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me; 2017's Twin Peaks: The Return; an international version of the 1990 pilot with additional footage; as well as an abundance of new and archival material totaling 20 hours in length.

The box for the 'Twin Peaks: From Z to A' Blu-ray DVD set is pictured
Amazon

Inside the package, which is illustrated with the Douglas firs that are part of the show’s iconography, are mini-figures of Special Agent Dale Cooper and Laura Palmer, played in the show by Kyle MacLachlan and Sheryl Lee, respectively. The box acts as a diorama of sorts and opens to reveal the Red Room, a location where many of the show’s most surreal moments took place. A series of three-by-five index cards provide backdrops of key scenes. The only thing the set doesn’t have is Lynch’s hand-drawn map of the show’s Washington location, but you can find that here.

The set is limited to 25,000 copies. It retails for $139.99 on Amazon and is due for release on December 10.

[h/t Newsweek]

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